Vladimir Kagan's Blog

Friendships

Friendships

(a parting shot for 2011)

By Vladimir Kagan copyright December 31, 2011

 

Friendships come in different sizes and intensity. They are hard to codify: There are fair-weather friends, casual friends, social friends. There are friends you see once a year and there are those you see only on Christmas Cards. There are intrusive friends and distant friends. There are people that “wanna” be a friend but you can’t see why – At least on Face Book and Linkedin… they’re in your face but you can ignore or un-friend them. And then there are friendships that are reciprocal – a quiet understanding camaraderie.

 

There are people who take one look at each other and see friendship - that is  chemistry. Friendships need nurturing; they grow from seedlings and sprout only with the right amount of watering. It’s not like love at first sight… that’s infatuation. These friendships can be lopsided… that’s OK.

 

Let me tell you about my best friend. It started as mutual admiration… two good-looking kids getting together on a date. Over the years our friendship grew… we became inseparable friends. We discovered shared interests but also divergent qualities. Untried waters… risk taking… openness. Openness is perhaps the crucial attribute. Exposing the delicate under-belly of emotions.

 

Shut out the world and you cloister yourself. Let the world enter your heart and it will create happiness. “You reap as you sow” – Happiness will bring a smile to your life and in turn creates laughter. Laughter is the best ingredient for good health. Not the stuff of Comedy Central, but the attitude that lets you see the brighter side of life even in the face of diversity. Life is like a bowl of cherries, enjoy it while its there; it’s an eternity and a flash – here today and gone tomorrow.

 

It takes two to Tango; it takes two to make an argument. The road to happiness is not a smooth path. Friends can disagree… sometimes passionately. It is not “I win- you loose”, it is a seesaw. Never, never take a grudge to bed; never wake up with a grudge. There are two sides to every argument and the solution may well be a third side. This simple lesson can take years to learn, but when it becomes a part of your life – friendship will turn to love.

 

We loved each other day and night… We enjoyed boundless curiosity. Our love was indestructible, always full of beans, always able to “resist both wind and tide.”   We became inseparable – two peas in a pod - the Yin and Yang of life.

 

I had this love for over 54 years. The love of my life - my best friend, Erica, is now gone. Mercifully, memories of all pain diminish. Happiness outlasts tears – Good memories live forever.

 

This was our last picture together, Erica and me at a Christmas Party, the day before she died

Friendships, love and memories never die!

 

Holiday Greetings from Erica and Vladimir

copyright Vladimir Kagan, December 11, 2011

 

 

T’was three weeks before Christmas 

And all through the house

The kids were all buzzing

Not quiet as a mouse!

 

Barking dog – droopy eared rabbit - singing canary – and pet fish co-coexist in our apartment. Our three granddaughters and their parents live with us under one roof…  The apartment is large enough and well suited to accommodate all seven. This is a rare treat as Erica and I enjoy the benefits of assisted living and the rambunctious fun that three teenagers bring to the table!

Christmas is a serious affair in our house… advent calendars for the kids, needlepointed Christmas stocking hanging on the fireplace. The Christmas tree is already up and beautifully decorated (not by the kids – but the adults). The living room looks festive and for once uncluttered. We ought to have a few parties to celebrate this rare event… but time is running out and only a few visitors will be treated to this phenomena. One can’t help stumbling over secret boxes – still unlabeled. Resolves for frugality are left for the next year… “Remember we must support the economy”.

Everyone is preparing to go off in different directions… but wishing they were not. In fact – no one will be home for Christmas. (That’s why our big family get together is Thanksgiving.)

Days were spent designing Christmas cards… every year we say we won’t do it the next year… but tradition demands that we send one. We are seldom ready with ours… and while we expect delivery next week they may still not arrive before Christmas…. So for all of my friends in Cyber Space… here’s our electronic greeting sent to you courtesy of my Apple Cloud. 

We wish all of you a festive Holiday and a peaceful New Year.

Erica & Vladi

 

ART BASEL MIAMI 2011

 

A second hand view

Copyright Vladimir Kagan, December 7, 2011

 

Wisdom prevailed and I chose not to go… and according to all reports, I missed nothing BUT parties, parties, parties.

Though the grape-vine I learned that sales of mediocre art was brisk… Really high-end stuff stagnated with the dealers and predictable pastiche sold to the wanabees and gullible.

I’m really sorry to have missed the Design Pavilions and am told that sales were vigorous…. So the demise of the ABMB is not nigh and everyone is going to have to do this charade one more year.

As I am not able to give you my own succinct overview of this dim-witted event, here are some quotations from a reliable source (Lance Esplund, art critic for Muse, the arts and leisure section of Bloomberg)

 

 

“We were at the W South Beach Hotel’s VIP welcoming reception hosted by Ruinart Champagne, an official sponsor of Art Basel Miami Beach, the 10th incarnation of the U.S.’s largest contemporary-art fair.”

“A-Rod Cages Owen Wilson Amid Ugly Art, Hookers at Miami Basel”

 “Guests dipped giant communion wafers into fountains of white and dark chocolate that streamed from the penises of two gleaming silver putti in Angel Otero’s sculpture “Pissing Contest.””

“Miami’s fair -- where everything is not only permitted, but encouraged -- has always been more Art Bacchanal than Art Basel” 

“By day, hung-over dealers scrambled to make sales to hung-over collectors.”

“When I returned in the wee hours to the Fontainebleau Hotel, bleached-blond girls -- perched on cushioned benches under inverted wedding-cake chandeliers, each her own private paradise -- shone like amber beacons floating in the pink-and-blue glow of the lobby….. There were usually about a dozen prostitutes on duty.”

 For a full review of Lance Esplund's hilarious report, Google esplund, bloomberg, a-rod, owen wilson, hookers

...OK, my faithful readers, had I written this earlier, those of you who attended, might have saved a packet of money missing this Non-art-event.

 

A bit of devastating Miami news is that Louis Vuitton and its parent company LVMH group have partnered with Craig Robins, the developer of Miami’s Design District and are planning to turn it into a luxury retail environment with 40 to 50 fashion stores and tenants like Sephora, Marc Jacobs, Givenchy and Fendi. This will be the death knell for the wonderful independent design boutiques that have given the district its flavor and panache. Remember what happened to SoHo (In New York} - Fashion moved in and creativity moved out!) 

This is great for the real estate guys but lousy for the design industry. Ground floor rents will jump from $25 per square foot to $125, effectively knocking out the core businesses that made the place a destination.

 

The sixty-four dollar question: Where will the next Design District spring up?

 

 

 

Thanksgiving on Nantucket 2011

 

Copyright Vladimir Kagan December 30, 2011

 

Thanksgiving weekend at the Kagans and all the usual suspects have arrived!… (Only one unfortunately missed the fun: Granddaughter Mallory was flying in from Bermuda and was thwarted by the weather) – Her parents arrived by ferry at 10:45 at night - delayed by ferocious sea conditions – The high-speed ferry leaving Hyannis hours earlier, was hit and crippled by a rogue wave that crushed her cargo doors – (She managed to limp into Nantucket with several hundred scared to death passengers). … This unfortunately put her out of commission for the entire week and raised havoc for hundreds of people booked for their return trip.

  

The high speed ferry, Iyanough, with her cargo door crushed by a rogue wave

This all may sound chaotic!…. But for Nantucket, it’s par for the course at this time of the year!

 

 

The Kagan dining room, normally seats twelve comfortably; it was transformed for eighteen! (Half of our guests are substantially portly -including me.) None-the-less, all managed to crunch themselves into our delicate antique ladder-back chairs. The children had to access their proper places by crawling under the table to emerge at their designated seats.

   

 

The "Dinner Party" with all the kiddies and some of our portly guests....

 This is the weekend where the guests do the cooking and the Kagans supervise! The menu was abundant, befitting the well-proportioned company…. the 28-pound turkey perfumed the house. To assure carbohydrate loading, there were three kinds of potatoes plus a bread stuffing smothered with a heavy gravy – nearly a case of wine was consumed – and of course, no meal is completed without four pies, cakes and schlag (whipped cream for the un-initiated) plus this years newest passion: Ben & Jerry’s Late-night Snack, discovered by Erica on our model T trip to Vermont. The secret crunchy ingredient, (they said don’t tell) – chocolate covered potato chips!…. Both guests and chairs survived the onslaught. – We ended the evening roasting chestnuts over an open fire!

 
After diiner: lounging in the livingroom - brother & sister catching up - children playing on my outdoor sofa brought indoors for the winter and doubling as a livingroom couch - guests chatting it up on my favorite Victorian Love Seat

 Nantucket's other events

Over the past 30 years, it has become a tradition for Vice-President Joe Biden to spend Thanksgiving with us on the Island (Not the Kagans but the larger family that makes up Nantucket) Well guarded by secret service men inconspicuously concealed within the strolling crowds (with their short cropped hair, black suits, sunglasses and earphones). Mr. Biden mixes freely with the crowd and graciously posed with our daughter Jessica for a photo on her i.Phone.

Daughter Jessica with the Vice President - Joe Biden

 

Anything that happens twice in succeeding years on Nantucket becomes an institution. And so it is with the Cold Turkey Plunge… a ridiculous affair, where sane people strip down to their bathing suits to take a swim in Nantucket’s frigid waters… This was the 7th Annual Plunge. The theme was “Splashin’ for a Passion”, and hundreds of swimmers plunged into the harbor as a fundraiser for the Nantucket Athenaeum (our local library). Water temperature was reported at 56 degrees… For politicians it is better than kissing babies and the Vice President made his plunge last year.

 

                                                                                               Photos by Mai Linh Norton

Nantucket's hardier folks taking a plunge into 56% water

 

Nantucket parties abound at this time of the year… you must be certain to be seen at the right ones! Among our invitations was an afternoon Sicilian Pizza extravaganza: all the male guests were given mustaches and each table was provided with abundant bottles of Chianti, Proseco, and for the teetotalers: Pellegrino. Artisan Pizzas were prepared in a wood-burning oven. (Trucked in for the occasions.) The party was to have a professional accordion player for the proper atmosphere… he failed to come, and I was cajoled into bringing mine!… A guarantee to close the party prematurely… (I didn’t produce it till the end… to clear out the stragglers in the garden!)

Vladimir "Guido" Kagan playing his accordian

 

 

Scallops are as much a Nantucket Thanksgiving tradition as the turkey. (I love to make them cerviche – Erica prefers lightly sautéed… either way, the meal is always memorable.)

Nantucket Bay Scallops are a world famous delicacy. It is a local micro industry. Hardy fishermen go out at 5 in the morning, in small boats, rigged with pulley-cranes, a culling board, a sturdy outboard motor, 10 empty baskets and usually an assistant. Each boat has a strict daily limit of 10 bushels (monitored by the harbor master). It is cold and messy work. Filling their quorum depends on good luck and knowing where the illusive scallops have swum…. (Yes, scallops swim!) This can take anything from a few hours to a good half day. Next begins the dirty task of shucking (separating the delicious muscle from its slimy interior) – This is done in shucking sheds or the garage. It takes more people to shuck than it does to catch and therefore neighbors, wives, friends and the winter-unemployed, are drafted into this task. 10 Bushels of scallops yields about 36 pounds of meat, fetching $10 per pound at wholesale … by the time it reaches your table, you’ll pay $30.

 

Erica and houseguest Rob inspecting scalloping boats after a morning of fishing 

The scourge of the scallop is the starfish… it sucks them up faster than a vacuum… It’s understandable that Scallopers hate the critters and drag them in with their catch… (If the Japanese would only develop a recipe for them… they could become a cash crop instead of a curse.)

After the catch, the work begins - schucking the scallops in the family garage - this is Sousa's Fish Market, a local treasure. 

 

Scallop shells and Star Fish

S

The day's catch - 36 pounds of scallops ready for market

 

To wind up this year’s weekend - "After the storm comes the calm!" - The weather turned sunny with balmy temperatures into the 60s…. Bad memories faded quickly and another memorable Thanksgiving  became history.

                                                                       Photo by Jessica Cushman

Easy Street basin after the storm - empty of boats except or this picture-perfect skiff