On Happiness and Growing Older

 

Copyright Vladimir Kagan January 23, 2011

 

For weeks I have been ruminating about writing an article on happiness and aging…. but held back for its potentially small audience amongst my readers. That has just changed after reading a cover story in the Economist December 18 2010…(Not news worthy stuff, so it had been festering on my magazine rack for a month…I finally decided to read it)  The joy of growing old – or why life begins at 46

 

                        

 Cover and inside page from December 18th issue of The Economist

 

The survey was huge and covered the globe: experts with impressive credentials filled three pages of this astute magazine. The U-bend of life – why beyond middle age, people get happier as they get older.

 

Their findings: “When people start out on adult life, they are, on average, pretty cheerful. Things go downhill from youth to middle age until they reach a nadir commonly known as the mid-life crisis…. the surprising part is what happens after that. Although as people move toward old age they lose things they treasure – vitality, mental sharpness and looks – they also gain what people spend their lives pursuing: happiness.” The article goes on “this curious finding has emerged from a new branch of economics that seeks a more satisfactory measure than money of human well-being…. Some economists, unconvinced that there is a direct relationship between money and well-being, have decided to go to the nub of the matter and measure happiness itself.”

 

“In 2008 France’s president, Nicolas Sarkozy, asked two Nobel-prize winning economists, Amartya Sen and Joseph Stiglitz, to come up with a broader measure of national contentedness than GDP. Then Last month, in a touchy-feely gesture not typical of Britain, David Cameron announced that the British government would start collecting figures on well-being.” There are already a lot of data on the subject collected by America’s General Social Survey, Eurobarometer and Galup. Surveys ask two main sort of questions….”Thinking about your life as a whole, how do you feel?” And the second is “Yesterday, did you feel happy/contended/angry anxious?”…. The article continues full of statistics and examples as they trawl through the vast quantities of data much like a miner panning for gold in search of the question: “what makes people happy?”

 

As a practitioner of this art, I feel I am qualified to weigh in on the subject. 

My credentials are substantial with two honorary PhD’s in Design (which put me on equal footing with the pros); I will herewith share my wisdom:

 

There are four basic ingredients necessary for happiness in old age:

 

1. Good health…at least reasonably good health. This is doled out in varying degrees and you have to take it as it comes.
2. Money isn’t everything, but who ever said that money can’t buy happiness is wrong. You need enough to pay the rent, put food on the table and gas in the car and have a little change left for a trip or two or three. (Never mind a nest egg for unscheduled downturns like hospitalization, assisted living etc…. hopefully wiser people than I have preempted this through insurance)
3. Having a good partner in life that shares the same DNA helps... but if you are single, divorced or widowed, this advice is still valid.
4. Good Luck is the secret ingredient that can’t be measured… it’s like winning the lottery.

 

If these components line up properly…. you’re on your way. You need a few more secondary factors to make things gel.

 

1. Your kids have to have their lives in order… otherwise the monkey jumps from their shoulder to yours.
2. Stay engaged: sports if you can, bridge for those seeking mental stimulus also jig-saw-puzzles, crossword puzzle, book clubs…etc. But working is still the best stimulus, even into your decrepitude.
3. If you still own a business as I do, you’d better have a good team in place to deal with the basic chores. (Still: when all else fails, the buck still stops with the boss.)
4. No debt or mortgage is a comforting thing

 

And now for my secrets to happiness:

 

1. Think lovely thoughts – it shows on your face
2. Keep smiling – a frown imbeds itself in your facial features
3. Laugh a lot – it firms up your facial and stomach muscles
4. Be kind – it is reciprocal
5. Take a nap daily – it’s no sin
6. A little drink at the end of the day puts “fins” to all your worries…and deposits them into tomorrow’s shopping list. (Not recommended if you are AA)
7. Insoluble troubles at night often vanish in the morning
8. Leave your aggressions behind – life becomes more benign as a reward
9. Say kind words to your spouse – eventually you will believe them yourself
10. Forgive and be forgiven
11. Never go to bed angry
12. Find the good side of the coin and don’t bother to flip it
13. Happiness is contagious – pass it on
14. Don’t be over critical – it’s a two-way street
15. Ladies: don’t be Mutton dressed as Lamb – you look too ridiculous in your daughter’s clothes
16. Forget face-lifts – they sag after a few years
17. Don’t wear a bikini no matter how slim you are
18. Always keep your head and feet warm
19. At our age, everything hurts at one time or the other – if you wake up in the morning and have no pain – you’re dead!
20. Avoid “organ recitals” don’t discuss your ailments as the core of conversation – they are boring
21. If you can’t remember everything – enjoy what you can.
22. Remember, what the head doesn’t know, the heart doesn’t grieve over
23. Don’t bother getting a hearing aid – you already know what your spouse has to say.

 

Our happy life in Palm Beach

Comments

[Sue Brayne]

And I would add, KEEP LEARNING. Feed yourself emotionally and spiritually. That's what keeps us sharp.

[Paula Grace]

This was pure joy to read. I'm glad you decided to do it. Thanks for the inspiration. I agree with everything on your list and the addition from Sue to keep learning. That's why I came to your site ~ to learn.
Paula Grace ~

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[Drew Harrison]

I agree with you: seeing the good side in every situation is a choice. The same goes with being happy: you can either choose to dwell on happy or sad memories. Whether we are young or old, we all need to make decisions. Take things one day at a time and enjoy life!